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Ground Control to Major Tom ....

star Year 2008.

My ship takes land in Palm Mallorca. Mission: High-level Meeting of the Galactic Confederation. Coordinates: 45GHtYWWR7. Meeting point: 5940pJ896

I ask my computer to tell me the coordinates and point of contact in local mode: Santa Ponsa, Hotel Pioneer.

Something is not right. No, I do not mean that the hotel room is much lower in that category to my rank in the Confederacy should be.

room is clear that, technically, is not objectionable: bed, wardrobe, TV, nightstand, bathroom, safe, minibar. What happens is that everything is done to scale.

Let us be clear: it would something of a luxury suite if I were Lilliputian.

Let us even more clearly: an erection, emerging as it was, inevitably force me to take part of my anatomy out of the room.

Pioneer Hotel. Here you will see the fucking Pin and Pon. If not, do not understand.

But no. Is not that what makes me have the fly behind her ear. Where are the natives? For a moment think that a mad scientist, annoyed by recent sporting successes in Spain, has poisoned the water or air in a deadly selectively to affect only persons of English nationality. The local population has been, purely and simply replaced by a humanoid different star systems with only two common denominators: massive amount of tattoos and a suspiciously pink color.

stop at a kiosk. Buy the world and very interesting. Four ninety five. I 5 euros. Fortunately enough. Nobody seems to understand my language. All hotel employees have badges with your name: Helga, Miroslaw, Rania, Chiara .... Prevents the closure of the lift to enter a freckled girl with clear eyes. A simple "Thank you, Danke, Thank you or Mercy" is replaced by a rant in one language, probably Germanic, which would have made that very moment if I became Primo Levi, I had gone to the foot down to share a lift with someone who speaks to you so that you think you come up with Himmler himself.

The key does not open the minibar. I have thirst. Tap water tastes like water around some Pacific atolls. In the hall is a machine. Aquabona pint of 2.80 euros. I punched the wall after drinking the first sip to see if the grave. No, the price of water does not include superpowers. I need a drugstore to buy bandages for knuckles. Here there are no pharmacies, there Apotheker.

I decide to go down to the pool. Where's Wally? It's easy, it's me. Can not you see? I'm the only head above water with some brown hair on top. The rest of swimmers would seem watusi to the very ride of the Valkyries.

Ground Control to Major Tom, Ground Control to Major Tom ....

keep you informed.

Hard Drive Recovery Disk Deserves A Better Title

Mexican and back ... You've Got Mail

And no. Not the name of a sexual technique, posture erotic or tantric sex secret trick. It's more childish.

Last week's parties Torrejón and like every year, so unavoidable, so I took an afternoon Nacho and Lucy. I took "the child's day" because attractions are cheaper and because most of the "fauna polygons" is recovered in their burrows infect the excess ethyl alcohol, psychotropic and hydrochloride. So go ahead. (Thanks Colette, for that wonderful expression that is "fauna polygons." Unpayable.)

mother of fair love! There are astronauts who have abandoned their appeal, and thus their space race, between tears and vomiting. The operation is simple: sit down, put a belt and prepare to be for a few minutes seem like hours something like Roger Moore in Moonraker, the scene that he half spun and stretched her skin of the face. In the center of Attraction is a totem of something that seems to be a Mexican guerrilla long whiskers. And from that moment, stick to entrust to the gods from egregious and reckless no boats, no, but actual earthquakes. At one point, a clear violation of the fundamental laws of physical attraction performs the above mentioned and seizure, sudden swings in reverse, bringing the medulla, which was beginning to find accommodation between the shoulder blades, is forced to form violent reoccupy its natural place in what has long been the skull.

I do not know the reason why Nacho and Lucy laughing with arms raised while I was barely allowed to circulate the blood in my hands as I was clinging tightly to the bar. What is imagination, hear. Like that episode of The Twilight Zone where a passenger saw a monster on the wing, I could see the attraction screws loose while doing mental calculations to determine if my mortal remains would land well in Coslada, either Ajalvir.

Once recovered, six or seven days later, I reflected on that rare bird fauna of the polygon is the pitchman. Ahhh if Félix Rodríguez de la Fuente would live a Man and Earth bonus track, just after the vultures, to discuss these hominids. It should be remembered that Recent research confirms a 94% similarity pitchman genome with the human genome, which puts them on the evolutionary scale slightly ahead of the chicken farm and at the same level, ironies of biology, monkey show.

Some basic facts: (Source: Fidelius Science Research Institute for the investigation of missing link)

Nationality: unknown (but in no case in any country west of Albania).

Race: unknown. And difficult to determine given the huge amount of dirt that are often covered. I understand that faculty have developed somewhere between mimicry and homocromía to protect themselves from predators. Confounding factors have been found between this race and some fossils attributed to the legendary inhabitants of Atlantis.

Leit Motiv in supplements: 2. Namely: cadenón to ensure "amos" but that gold around your neck or in the good times of Jesus Gil (RIP) when he went on preaching from Telecinco Marbella Jacuzzi surrounded by Vidal i shere. And needless to say, fanny. Never been achieved in captivity a pitchman to detach from the bag and survive. Nor do any of these peddlers had survived an episode of "Sex and the City."


Mantras: Varied. Above all this cryptic phrase "if you want vueltecilla to another, it first passes through box, and let the loose. " I have consulted several treaties that currently hermeneutics without clearly understands the meaning of the sentence. I do not understand the phrase "I want a Shoshone, Shoshone sympathetic secretary, secretary, I tread the boards" (sic)

Interaction with humans: wicked cocky. The mere idea of \u200b\u200bbeing in a queue for a device mounted on suicide and know that I played on that turn because the carny, leaning against the doorway, with a dismissive look and a toothpick in his mouth stretches the leg (not figuratively, but literally) to prevent us going, is something beyond me. In all honesty, as a way of transmission is at least unambiguous.

fairground Percentage of blue dots tattooed between the knuckles: 100% Percentage of fairground

performing weekly at least on full oral brushing a minimum of two minutes: 0%

Group Peruvian ponchos hats despite the 36 degrees, playing Andean melodies unbearable: 1 (yes, ubiquitous. The same as the street price, the Plaza Mayor, Plaza Metro Elliptical, the festival of San Fernando de Henares, the Rastro. .. the Miskito ¡!!!)
Dog
pilot obtained after an outlay of about 50 euros: 0

Thankfully missing almost a year for the next time ... ...