As some may recall, a little over a year I stole the car. That you think that only happens to others, and that most likely the largest displacement (I only had a humble Ford Focus.)
Well, a few days ago I received a summons for the trial as a witness, and a very big mark on the citation reading "Cause with Prisoner."
Hey, it is these things that happen in life that you certainly restless. I am by nature a coward, subspecies "vermin worthy of extermination." I ask triple dose of anesthesia when I go to the dentist .... to get a cleaning. There's a grasshopper too stiff in the Southern stands on the terrace and until I see his body I do not go. So the words "witness" to a prisoner because "burglary" because, to deny it, terrified.
In any case, I thought, you are all designed and under no concept will be allowed in the room match the chorizo \u200b\u200band the victim Ha!, I've seen too many movies. And this was the Criminal Court No. 1 of Orihuela.
I when I arrived and I said 'courtroom 3, third door on the left, pass you by, "I began to suspect. Actually suspected for a few seconds before I entered the court without going below the metal detector, and neither the civil guard who chatted amiably securata nor tell me anything. I thought: this backpack I carry my phone, my cigarillos Vegafina, my blackberry and my wallet but still could carry a Walther PPK as the Jeinsbon to silence a witness and has not coscado nadie ….
Total que llego a una especie de recepción y le digo a la chica en voz baja sin quitarme mis gafas de sol y sin desabrocharme, huelga decirlo, mi gabardina (a pesar del calor reinante):
- Psss, soy Fidelio, ¿me das el kit?
- ¿qué dices?
- Pues el kit, el kit, mira (y le enseño la citación, y veo que tiene cara de no entenderme).
- Me refiero al kit de testificar, ya sabes, modulador de voz, un rectángulo de cartulina negra para taparme los ojos, algún aparatito para desenfocar mi imagen como los personajes de Celebrities de Woody Allen, la documentación correspondiente a mi nueva identidad así como los billetes de avión to Toronto where I begin my new life welcomed the witness protection program .... Hell, the kit!
The slut persianita she closed in her face. I was cornered. This, I fear, not how it works. I cursed myself for not having brought a Darth Vader mask with my children ... they change the voice. I searched the backpack: a polvorón! Should have been there since Christmas 1998. Hurray. Put it in my mouth and I immediately hit the roof of the same. At least the issue to disguise his voice was determined.
I sit on a stool in front of the room, which was closed. Across two women: a North African and Vidal i shere generous cleavage, huge blue eyes and miniskirt (in strict order of viewing). Vidal i shere ask me if I am Fidelio, I say yes, get up, I bend down (I thought I was going to shoot) but only reaches out to me face stupor while I scratch my ankle strongly to to show that I bent down to scratch ... .. Hi, I'm Lucia, counsel Hotline "Look, this is Fatima, the interpreter, goes looking, we will not be delayed like other days, and you have fallen!
coming was referring to two police officers handcuffed the time colleague of the door you get a official says loudly: Fidelio "is here?, Guardia Civil xxxxx number are you here? So, as passing list with names just as in bringing a detainee that stares at me with two eggs and I said "hello." I will not exaggerate, let's see. The boy's face to have dismembered his mother in the fridge did not have, but I also saw him face to wear a suit, a chapita to put Elder nosequé and magazine "Watchtower" and out on Sunday morning in the Plaza de Manuel Becerra was trying to convince Jehovah's Witness (where as everybody knows, not know the LORD nor have I seen the accident). Finally, the face was chori chori. Moroccan him, looking to spend to sell chocolate or a carpet of those saying "Tudu baratu, Tudu baratu, spain morocco same thing."
As he returned the greeting with a smile, while performing a calculation on the force needed to break handcuffs and get rid of the civil guards, I kept thinking how much time was soon to be on the street, if exactly would remember my face, from the terrace where slipped when I stole the car keys, wallet, Montblanc pen and camera, and if they continue throwing bromide at the ranch during their stay in prison or whether On the contrary, would out of jail but that the peak of imagining a table one night of lust and debauchery with me (in just punishment for all that I have imagined in the company of Laetitia Casta).
the trial begins. The sheriff again recites my name and surname, I have to put up. The fellow next to me between two guards and handcuffed. I look again, turns to greet me, I apologize, tell him I forgive him (as lenient when it becomes a shit, hey), it is to mourn. I do not know if remorse or because they entered the eye a piece of polvorón that shot out of my mouth to say that yes, she forgave him.
And then the judge (or judge that you do not already know when is screwing) ask me you know you're here? I say yes, sir. He wipes another piece gown polvorón. I summarized what happened at the time, tells me that if I agree, I say yes. Lucy gets up, my eyes make the same line of sight a while ago: cleavage, big eyes and .... Toga! (New element in the composition, the miniskirt has been covered and is in a toga, which again triggers my imagination. Toga, cleavage, wives .... Shit, too many inputs). It teaches me a tit .. Sorry, what was I thinking! I teach a role, and tells me that if I recognize my signature on the document confirming who had received compensation from the insurance company: I say yes.
Well, a few days ago I received a summons for the trial as a witness, and a very big mark on the citation reading "Cause with Prisoner."
Hey, it is these things that happen in life that you certainly restless. I am by nature a coward, subspecies "vermin worthy of extermination." I ask triple dose of anesthesia when I go to the dentist .... to get a cleaning. There's a grasshopper too stiff in the Southern stands on the terrace and until I see his body I do not go. So the words "witness" to a prisoner because "burglary" because, to deny it, terrified.
In any case, I thought, you are all designed and under no concept will be allowed in the room match the chorizo \u200b\u200band the victim Ha!, I've seen too many movies. And this was the Criminal Court No. 1 of Orihuela.
I when I arrived and I said 'courtroom 3, third door on the left, pass you by, "I began to suspect. Actually suspected for a few seconds before I entered the court without going below the metal detector, and neither the civil guard who chatted amiably securata nor tell me anything. I thought: this backpack I carry my phone, my cigarillos Vegafina, my blackberry and my wallet but still could carry a Walther PPK as the Jeinsbon to silence a witness and has not coscado nadie ….
Total que llego a una especie de recepción y le digo a la chica en voz baja sin quitarme mis gafas de sol y sin desabrocharme, huelga decirlo, mi gabardina (a pesar del calor reinante):
- Psss, soy Fidelio, ¿me das el kit?
- ¿qué dices?
- Pues el kit, el kit, mira (y le enseño la citación, y veo que tiene cara de no entenderme).
- Me refiero al kit de testificar, ya sabes, modulador de voz, un rectángulo de cartulina negra para taparme los ojos, algún aparatito para desenfocar mi imagen como los personajes de Celebrities de Woody Allen, la documentación correspondiente a mi nueva identidad así como los billetes de avión to Toronto where I begin my new life welcomed the witness protection program .... Hell, the kit!
The slut persianita she closed in her face. I was cornered. This, I fear, not how it works. I cursed myself for not having brought a Darth Vader mask with my children ... they change the voice. I searched the backpack: a polvorón! Should have been there since Christmas 1998. Hurray. Put it in my mouth and I immediately hit the roof of the same. At least the issue to disguise his voice was determined.
I sit on a stool in front of the room, which was closed. Across two women: a North African and Vidal i shere generous cleavage, huge blue eyes and miniskirt (in strict order of viewing). Vidal i shere ask me if I am Fidelio, I say yes, get up, I bend down (I thought I was going to shoot) but only reaches out to me face stupor while I scratch my ankle strongly to to show that I bent down to scratch ... .. Hi, I'm Lucia, counsel Hotline "Look, this is Fatima, the interpreter, goes looking, we will not be delayed like other days, and you have fallen!
coming was referring to two police officers handcuffed the time colleague of the door you get a official says loudly: Fidelio "is here?, Guardia Civil xxxxx number are you here? So, as passing list with names just as in bringing a detainee that stares at me with two eggs and I said "hello." I will not exaggerate, let's see. The boy's face to have dismembered his mother in the fridge did not have, but I also saw him face to wear a suit, a chapita to put Elder nosequé and magazine "Watchtower" and out on Sunday morning in the Plaza de Manuel Becerra was trying to convince Jehovah's Witness (where as everybody knows, not know the LORD nor have I seen the accident). Finally, the face was chori chori. Moroccan him, looking to spend to sell chocolate or a carpet of those saying "Tudu baratu, Tudu baratu, spain morocco same thing."
As he returned the greeting with a smile, while performing a calculation on the force needed to break handcuffs and get rid of the civil guards, I kept thinking how much time was soon to be on the street, if exactly would remember my face, from the terrace where slipped when I stole the car keys, wallet, Montblanc pen and camera, and if they continue throwing bromide at the ranch during their stay in prison or whether On the contrary, would out of jail but that the peak of imagining a table one night of lust and debauchery with me (in just punishment for all that I have imagined in the company of Laetitia Casta).
the trial begins. The sheriff again recites my name and surname, I have to put up. The fellow next to me between two guards and handcuffed. I look again, turns to greet me, I apologize, tell him I forgive him (as lenient when it becomes a shit, hey), it is to mourn. I do not know if remorse or because they entered the eye a piece of polvorón that shot out of my mouth to say that yes, she forgave him.
And then the judge (or judge that you do not already know when is screwing) ask me you know you're here? I say yes, sir. He wipes another piece gown polvorón. I summarized what happened at the time, tells me that if I agree, I say yes. Lucy gets up, my eyes make the same line of sight a while ago: cleavage, big eyes and .... Toga! (New element in the composition, the miniskirt has been covered and is in a toga, which again triggers my imagination. Toga, cleavage, wives .... Shit, too many inputs). It teaches me a tit .. Sorry, what was I thinking! I teach a role, and tells me that if I recognize my signature on the document confirming who had received compensation from the insurance company: I say yes.
speak again the judge tells me that it has been valued and me to additional compensation of 334 euros for the stolen items. Review objects mentally, and I wonder if when released from prison chori not happen for a while with a good bottle of Vaseline around the house expert. 334 euros I understand I will pay the state back in 2032.
Sheriff makes me sign a paper, go to say out loud my name and surname only to remind me that I had my ID and tells me I can go. I say "thank you for everything, see you later" and the only answer me with a "thank you, goodbye" is the chori. You kidding!!
And this, dear friends, is so far my only experience with the law ... ..
